I’ve been quiet lately.
I posted once or twice on social media in the past 1 – 1.5 months, I haven’t written much (at all), and I have slowed down (my workouts have been focused on small muscle groups and stretching, my work has been more organizing and finishing tasks than big creative endeavors, and my spare time has been spent enjoying easy trail rides with my horse).
I needed this time to connect with my intentions.
I was on a path of ‘doing,’ without the guidance of where I was going. And in my history, this has never led me anywhere good.
I talk a lot about my broken pelvis from being hit by an SUV and rebuilding my body, and I talk a lot about my past eating disorder and healing from anorexia, but I don’t talk a lot about my hormonal issues.
When I went to a naturopath over two years ago, it was due to a whole host of things, but the main one being my hormones. About 4.5 years prior, I went off the birth control pill simply to give my body a break from artificial hormones… and I didn’t get my period back. I went to general practitioners, gynecologists, and OB-GYNs; I had many rounds of blood testing, ultra-sounds, other tests, and referrals. I was given medication to induce a period, but that still didn’t work.
No one could give me any answers; I was deemed a ‘medical mystery,’ I was warned that I may be infertile, and was told that if I wanted my period again so badly, I should just go back on the pill.
Why wasn’t my body working properly? I ate healthily, I exercised, I thought I was doing everything right.
When I eventually went to a naturopath, my face was covered with cystic acne, my digestion was plaguing me daily, and I just felt miserable inside and out.
It was her herbal tinctures that reset my liver and kidneys to get everything moving again, which eventually healed my hormonal and digestive issues. But the experience also taught me a lot about what I wasn’t doing: I wasn’t listening to my body.
I was in such a habit of ‘doing’ all the time: pushing, striving, overworking, stressing… that I wasn’t paying attention to all the signs my body was giving me.
When I found myself recently having some issues that reminded me of my past experiences, I knew I needed to slow down. I needed to get clear on what I was doing, where I was going, and why I was doing it.
- I am a huge advocate for healthy body image and body positivity, and I want to end this endless cycle of shame, guilt, and comparison.
- I believe in the power of functional movement for longevity, healing, mobility, and strength.
- I believe in the power of holistic nutrition, clean eating, herbs, and gut health.
- And, I know how many women (and men, but women especially) are affected by negative body image, pushing our bodies through pain, yo-yo dieting, digestive issues, hormonal imbalances, and feeling like our bodies are working against us with no idea how to get them to be our ally rather than our enemy.
While out for a walk recently, I heard something within me say, “come home to yourself.”
I had to stop walking and take a moment to breathe… come home to yourself.
What do those words mean to you?
To me, with this platform, it means collectively sharing from the above bullet points. To create an online space that integrates holistic wellness and healing; mind, body, and soul. It means going back to my original roots… body solace.
(No, not the studio space, but the concept)
So in the weeks to come (and beyond), I’ll be diving into the concept of total wellness, of using a cyclical method to always be in a state of ‘home’ within our bodies – with our movement, our nutrition, our thought-processes and productivity, and more.
Soon I’ll be offering a mix of free videos and programs, as well as paid programs and downloads. I’ll be bringing in experts, like my mother, Lorraine Crowe, who is a licensed holistic health and nutrition practitioner (and also the creator of Rain Natural Skincare) to share her advice, and I have a few other things I’m considering but not committing to just yet.
I encourage you to follow me at the links below as I’ll be sharing regularly on social media, with things that are different from my weekly newsletters and blog posts.
Yours in total body wellness,