In a recent post, I gave you some of my ‘pep talk’ examples, and in this post, I’m building on that.
Remember when I gave the F.E.A.R. example? Well, I often find myself in fear-based situations… a lot.
Recently I decided to stop the incessant fear-based living when it comes to jumping my horse. I started putting in the work and setting us up for success with grids and patterns.
Which leads me to this: Nothing worth having comes without hard work.
- When we want to be more flexible, but we only stretch every so often.
- When we want to lose weight or tone up, but we only eat healthy a few days of the week, or work out when we’re in the mood (hint: is anyone ever “in the mood” to workout? I don’t think so, but those who are successful get up and do it anyway).
- When we want to make progress in our life or business, but we’re unwilling to put in the work; to learn, to set goals, to do the hard things, to start the conversations, to invest in ourselves.
- When we want to reduce the stress in our lives, but we think it’s easier to do everything on our own and not ask for help.
- When we want X in our lives to change, but we find some excuse to avoid making the change.
Do these stories sound familiar?
What we may not realize is that these excuses or feeling of unwillingness are oftentimes fear. It’s not the “fear of heights” kind of fear, it’s the fear of failure (what will people think?), it’s the fear of success (I’ll have to get out of my comfort zone/how will this change my life?), it’s the fear of the unknown (I’ve never done that before).
I challenge you to start to simply notice when fear is preventing you from success; to be mindful of when you’re making an excuse – even (especially) when it doesn’t feel like an excuse!
Here are some recent examples of mine:
1) Someone recently asked me if I was doing any jumping with my horse, and I said: “no, we’ve been trail riding a lot this summer, so I have to get back in the ring and work on our fitness again first.”
Fear of Failure: my horse is super fit, I was just scared to not be good enough because I have spent my entire life feeling like I wasn’t “good enough” in the horse industry.
2) When I was avoiding talking about my partnership with natural wellness products (such as collagen supplements), but I am always very willing to promote a friend’s products, a client’s products, etc… I was scared people would just think I was trying to make money from them, as that’s how I’ve felt when people working in network marketing/affiliate marketing/social retail have approached me.
Fear of Success: I believe in these products because they’ve helped me, and I want people to know about them in the same way I recommend other products that I use and love and want people to know about. I want to help you, whether it’s through a product recommendation, or a stretching routine, or a food swap recommendation, or a mindset shift and pep talk. And at the end of the day, it’s okay that I’m fairly compensated when someone makes a purchase through me in the same way that we hope a retail salesperson who helped us find the perfect outfit for our event is fairly compensated for their time and energy, too.
And that leads me to the final thing…
3) The fear of investing in ourselves, the fear of believing in ourselves, the fear of promoting ourselves, and the fear of going outside of our comfort zones by putting in the work and learning.
Fear of the Unknown | Fear of Failure | Fear of Success
Maybe your goal is to lose weight and be healthier, maybe it’s to practice gratitude more often and to reduce stress, or maybe it’s to be able to bend over and touch your toes without wincing. No matter how big your goals are or how seemingly small your goals are, remember this:
Fear can lead our entire lives if we let it… when are you making a fear-based excuse? When are you limiting yourself? When are you not showing up for YOUR LIFE?
It’s up to YOU to decide who is the leader in the story of your life.